


Into The Beetleverse

by TheLuckOfTheClaws



Category: Beetlejuice (1988), Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Beetle/babes don’t even GLANCE at this post or I’ll steal your kneecaps, Crossover, Movie!Beej is a creep and I hate him, Slight eye trauma in chapter 8 but Keatlejuice more than deserves it and its not super graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-12 20:56:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21482734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLuckOfTheClaws/pseuds/TheLuckOfTheClaws
Summary: The worlds of the musical and the movie cross over and characters get switched into unfamiliar circumstances.What are both sets of Maitlands and Deetzes to do with 2x the Juice?
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz & Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz/Delia Deetz
Comments: 197
Kudos: 508





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a clarification, if I’m talking about movie!beej, I’ll spell his name Betelguese, if I’m talking about musical!beej it will be spelled Beetlejuice. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to tell all the other characters apart but we will get there when we get there.

“So there I was. The chupacabras came at us from the south and west--ow!”

“Don’t lie to me, you bastard,” Lydia said, elbowing the demon in the ribs for emphasis, “That’s not a real thing.”

Beetlejuice gasped mockingly, putting a hand over his heart.

“Lydia! You doubt my honesty?”

“Don’t tell me that chupacabras are real. I’m not that gullible. What next, the mothman?”

“Nope, mothman’s fake,” he acknowledged, “but you want to know some things that are real? The chupacabra.”

The gothy teenager rolled her eyes. 

“That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about supernatural beings to dispute you,” she retorted, rummaging around in her tote bag, “But anyway, I—Beej?”

She turned to look up at her friend, who sat eerily still. He was surrounded by a glowing aura and an ear splitting keening noise filled the air. Suddenly, he vanished in a flash of light and Lydia shrieked as she dove back from the spot on the roof where he’d been sitting. She ducked behind part of the roof and glanced warily at the _ thing _ left in her best friend’s place.

***

_ A few moments ago, in another dimension. _

***

Betelgeuse sighed, resting his head in his hands. Wouldn’t be long now before midnight, and then he could blow this joint in style. He’d pickpocketed the fancy watch, emblazoned with bizarre symbols rather than numbers, a long time ago, but he hadn’t needed it until he’d been trapped in this waiting room several months ago, and it wasn’t able to use it’s powers until now—midnight, on the winter solstice. The symbols lit up one by one.

He’d better make it count; the light show was starting to attract the attention of the waiting room’s other residents. Miss Argentina, the receptionist, opened her mouth to say something just as he gripped the dial and twisted it sharply to the left, disappearing in a brilliant silvery flash. Then just as quickly as it came, the light vanished, leaving behind a very different figure. The waiting room’s flabbergasted residents stared in awe at a very confused striped demon, who clutched at his head.

“Owww...what the _ fuck?” _

He looked up and saw his new surroundings. His hair flashed from green to pale yellow.

“Who the fuck? Where the fuck-”

“What just happened? How did you get in here?!” Miss Argentina gasped. He looked back at her, eyes wide.

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

He stood up shakily. The receptionist held her hands out pacifyingly.

“Okay, you just...stand there, I’m going to get Juno and—“

_ “OHhOHoHO nO tHanKS!!! NOo ThANkS! bYE, LAdY!” _

His hair faded to white and he glanced around like a cornered animal, eyes wild. Before she could stop him or say anything, he booked it, shoving recently deceased individuals out of his way. The receptionist shook her head slowly as she pressed a button behind her desk.

“Can I get a supervisor down here? You are going to want to see this.”

_ *** _

_ Musicalverse _

_ *** _

Of course, Betelgeuse wasn’t there to see any of this, as his eyes were now adjusting to the sudden change of lighting as the watch’s magic spat him out in an unfamiliar location. It was dark, and he was on the roof of a somewhat familiar-looking house. But who cared about that—he was free! He snapped his fingers to change the red of his former wedding outfit to his preferred getup of stripes.

Suddenly, he heard a quiet gasp. Something moved in the corner of his vision and he snapped his attention towards it. He glimpsed it for just a moment, but the ghost was nearly certain he’d seen a small figure with dark hair duck behind the ridge of the roof. He narrowed his eyes and took a few steps towards what he’d seen. 

“Anyone up here?”

A thrown stick nearly hit him in the face.

“I’ll take that as a yes!”

“AAH!”

The dark-haired teenage girl darted out from her hiding space, holding a thick tree branch like a weapon. She charged at him with it, still screaming like a banshee. Having caught him off-guard, she managed to get a hit in before he grabbed the other end of the branch, twisted it out of her hand, and threw it off the edge of the roof.

“Good evenin’, howdy there. And you are?”

“What did you do to him, you bastard?!”

“Unusual name! I like it. I’ve got an unusual name myself,” the specter replied, “But see, there’s this thing about it—”

“I know how the name curse works,” she snapped, “And there’s no way in hell I’m gonna say it. This isn’t exactly my first rodeo.” 

She crossed her arms and scowled. The realization dawned on him. 

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!”

He snapped his fingers.

“I know you from somewhere! _ Lydia _, right? Of course! Ya sure I can’t persuade you to recon—” 

“Lydia? We heard screaming, is something wrong?”

Barbara Maitland climbed out onto the roof, followed closely behind by Adam. They locked eyes with the striped specter. Lydia backed away from him and into her parent’s arms as he narrowed his eyes at them.

“Well, well, well, well, well! You must be Adam...and you must be Barbara.”

He grinned but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

“It must be my lucky day!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, writing is hard and also I got grounded :|

Beetlejuice ran as fast as he could, shoving ghosts aside. He didn't care about all the attention he was attracting, he just needed to get _ away _. He dodged out of the waiting room and into a long hallway, looking for a way out of here. There had to be a ‘out’, right? There! A door made of bricks was outlining itself on a nearby wall. Just as it started to slowly crack open, he charged through it, shoving it the rest of the way open. On the other side of the door were a very confused pair of ghosts, who he’d knocked to the ground in his rush. One of them was a woman with curly brown hair and a pink flowered dress and the other was a very cute man with short light brown hair, glasses, and a black-and-white flannel shirt. The man opened his mouth to say something, perhaps to scream, but Beetlejuice didn't have time to listen to whatever he had to say, however pretty he was.

“Sorry, gotta go, bye!” he yelped with a grin, trying to mask his own panic. The room he was now in looked like an attic, with a sizable miniature model of a town taking up a good chunk of the room. Had these ghosts made this? It was pretty good. He saw a door in the wall behind the model and bolted for it. 

“It’s _ him!” _ the woman shrieked as he kicked the door open, running down the staircase it led to. The stairs let out in a kitchen, where a familiar-looking girl dressed in navy blue pajamas seemed to be getting a midnight snack—she was standing by the countertop eating dry cereal out of the bag.

“Scarecrow?” he whispered. She whipped around, noticing him for the first time, and screamed. He screamed back. The two ghosts from upstairs must have followed him down, because the woman grabbed him from behind by the tie, shouting, “Get away from her!” 

He pulled back, yanking the tie from her grip before being tackled by a dead football player—netherworld security. His head smacked into the corner of the kitchen counter. They must have followed him out; his great escape hadn’t exactly been stealthy. That thought was his last before blacking out.

_ *** _

Barbara hugged Lydia close as a few football players picked up the limp stripe-suited ghost and carried him up the stairs.

“Why are you up?” Adam asked.

“Are you alright?” she added worriedly.

Lydia took a deep breath.

“I just wanted something to eat. And I’m fine, just a little shaken. Who was that and why did he look like..._ you know who _?” 

“That’s what we’re all trying to figure out,” said Juno, slowly coming down the stairs.

She glanced over at the Maitlands.

“You two had better come with me. We can talk this over and get to the bottom of things in my office.”

She turned around and headed back up. Lydia stared wondrously after her.

“That’s Juno, our caseworker. Adult stuff. Go back to bed!” Adam answered without having to hear the question. He ruffled her hair and smiled at Barbara. They started walking towards the staircase. 

All of a sudden, Charles dashed through the kitchen doorway in a panic.

“I heard screaming, what’s going on?! Is anyone hurt?” 

The Maitlands shared a loving glance and Lydia stifled a smile.

“You might be a little late to come to the rescue, Dad.”

_ *** _

_ Musicalverse _

_ *** _

As the unfamiliar mockery of the striped ghost they knew sneered at them, Adam stiffened with fright. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he went limp, hitting the tile with a soft thud. 

“Adam?!” Barbara gasped, looking down at her husband. She looked across at the ghost’s sneering visage, stepping protectively in front of Adam’s unconscious form and Lydia, who raised her fists at him in a ‘fight me’ gesture. 

“I don’t know who you are or what you did to get here, but you had better stay away from my family!”

The ghostly woman’s voice shook slightly, and her expression betrayed that she was a lot more scared and a lot less certain then she was trying to show. Betelgeuse smirked.

“Or-hear me out, here-I could just throw you off this roof into sandworm turf and watch while they duke it out over your body,” he suggested sarcastically. Her face paled. A lightbulb went off in Lydia’s head.

“Not if the ‘worms get to you first!” she shouted with a slasher-movie smile. The ghost turned to look at her, confused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Sandy! Here, girl!”

She whistled shrilly. A loud creak came from off the side of the roof, and smoke billowed from below as the maw of Big Sandy the sandworm rose up. Betelgeuse shrieked, jumping back. Unfortunately for him, this put him in range for Lydia to smack him upside the head with another tree branch as hard as she could, causing him to lose his balance and fall off the roof with a yelp and a sickening crunch. She fist pumped, then reached out to pet Sandy on the nose.

“Lydia, one; stripy ghost man, zero.” 

Barbara sighed in relief. She leaned forward to look off the roof.

“Wait, where’d he go?”

“What?!” 

Lydia looked over the edge of the roof. She pointed at the chalk outline of a door on a tree trunk.

“He must have jumped into the Netherworld to get away from Sandy! Oh, you can go home now, girl. Good work!”

Lydia patted the giant snake on the forehead and the sandworm slowly retracted her striped body into the portal to Saturn she’d lunged out of. Barbara walked back towards where Adam lay on the ground.

“Can you help me get him back inside?”

Lydia nodded, glancing warily back towards the edge of the roof.

***

Barbara gently tucked a blanket over Adam’s still-sleeping form, who lay motionless on the couch where they had put him. Lydia paced back and forth in the attic

“I gotta find out what he did to Beej. You can’t leave the house, but I can follow him-”

“What? Absolutely not! You are not going back to the Netherworld!”

“Why not? It’s mostly safe for breathers like me now that Miss A is in charge; that’s what Beej told me after he came back.”

“Key word being _ mostly _! And it’s probably a lot less safe with that guy running around in it!”

“What happened to Barbara 2.0?”

Barbara paused at Lydia’s words. The teenager continued, determined to make her point.

“Ghost mom...he’s my best friend. I dealt with him once, I can deal with this other guy again. I can handle this.”

Barbara took a deep breath, metaphorically speaking.

“Okay, I trust you. But be safe!”

Lydia ran up to her and threw her arms around her for a quick hug. Then she broke loose and dashed to the door.

“I’m gonna grab some stuff and then the chase begins! You can never be too prepared when jumping back into a literal portal to hell.”

“You are not filling me with confidence about my decision to let you go!”

“Love you too!”


	3. Chapter 3

Lydia dashed across the hall to her room to grab, as she put it, her essential ghost-finding kit. She ran through the list of items she stored in that NPR tote bag Beej had given her. Chalk? Check. Handbook? Check. The Bad Art? Check. Baggie of table salt? Check. Camera? Check. Flashlight? Check. That was everything—she slung the bag over her shoulder and headed down the stairs. She tiptoed quietly out the door and ran to the obvious white outline on the wide oak tree near the house. Taking a deep breath, Lydia rapped on the door three times. The outline of the door glowed from within and she kicked it open.

“Alright, you son of a bitch. I’m coming for you.”

_ *** _

_ Movieverse _

_ *** _

The Maitlands tightly clasped their hands together as they walked into Juno’s office. The elderly woman was seated at her desk, staring across the room at them. A couple of football players were awkwardly standing behind her, as well as Miss Argentina, perched in one of the office chairs. There were only two chairs so the Maitlands opted to stand in front of the desk together.

“Good, you’re here. You all can go-“ she gestured to the footballers- “Close the door behind you, please.” 

The footballers shuffled out, the last member of the team leaning back into the room to say, “Good luck sorting all this out, Coach,” before shutting the door. Juno rolled her eyes and lit a cigarette, attempting to smoke it but only causing most of the smoke to escape through the gash in her throat.

“I understand that you probably have a lot of questions about what exactly is going on, and I’m just as confused as you are in this instance. Thankfully, Tina saw the whole thing, so maybe we can finally start to figure this out. Tina?”

The green-skinned receptionist glanced around the room. 

“Well, I was at the front desk, doing my job, when I saw a glow in the corner of my eyes. He-not the guy in the other room; the other one, in red-was fidgeting with one of his watches and then he just vanished. And that guy was standing where he was, looking very confused. And his hair was changing color, for some reason. I tried to talk to him but he started freaking out and ran away. So I called you. And that’s about it.”

“Thank you. If anything else occurs to you, please let me know. You can get back to work now,” replied Juno. Miss Argentina nodded and stood up. She pushed her chair in and left the room. Juno looked the Maitlands over.

“He ought to wake up soon. Do you two want to be around while I question him? He did break into your house and as far as we know, may or may not be the same person who caused problems for you.”

The Maitlands shared a glance and turned back towards their case worker.

“Yes, I think we should. I think I speak for both Adam and myself that we’d like some answers,” Barbara answered. Adam nodded quickly. Juno sighed.

“Alright. Follow me and don’t wander off.”

***

Beetlejuice’s head hurt worse than ever as he faded back into consciousness. He tried to lift his arm up to rub his forehead but found that his wrists were behind his back, handcuffed to an office chair. A few blue-skinned football players were standing around the room, one of them noticing that his eyes were open and running off.

“Coach, he woke up!” the jock called. Beetlejuice was too dazed to say anything so he just stared up at the ceiling. He heard footsteps approaching and lolled his head to the side to get a look at where the sound was coming from. An elderly woman wearing a light gray suit was slowly walking towards him. She was flanked by that cute ghost couple whose house he’d ran through during his panicked escape.

“Um...hi...quick question, who the fuck  _ are _ you people?” he managed to say somewhat coherently. The ghost couple shared a glance and the old woman shook her head.

“I wanted to ask you the same question.”

“Uhh...I’m Lawrence and my head hurts and I’m real confused, also someone handcuffed me to a fucking chair, so overall; not having the best day.”

The older woman looked back at the ghost couple with visible confusion.

“Lawrence? Your name’s... _ Lawrence _ ?”

“Yeah?? Why would I lie about that…?”

The dark and curly-haired woman spluttered.

“And you expect us to just believe you? After all the lies, and after everything you did to us?" 

“Who even aaare you? Who are youu?”

“What do you mean ‘who are we?’  _ We _ are Adam and Barbara Maitland!”

That caught his attention. He straightened up, cracked his neck and looked her straight in the eyes.

“...are not.”

“What?” questioned Adam, adjusting his glasses.

“I  _ said _ , you’re not the Maitlands! You’re nothing like them at all! The  _ Maitlands _ are boring and nice and sexy. Mr. Glasses over there is just regular ole’ sexy. That’s waaaay different.”

Barbara gritted her teeth and whirled around to face Juno, who was now standing off to the side pondering something.

“You can’t just let him sit here, scheming god-knows-what with no consequence! Let me get another sandworm and—”

Beetlejuice jumped forward in his chair, his eyes wide with excitement-he almost seemed to have forgotten the fact that he was handcuffed to it.

“You guys have a  _ sandworm?!  _ Can I see it?!!”

This caught  _ everyone _ off guard. Juno’s jaw dropped.

“I’m sorry, what?” demanded Barbara.

“Your sandworm! I wanna see it! I love their cute little faces—both of their faces.”

The Maitlands shared a glance that said  _ what the hell do we do _ while Juno grabbed them both by the arm and pulled them out of the room, shutting the door behind them. Beetlejuice kicked his legs back and forth idly.

“What is going on?!” Barbara asked. Adam nodded. Juno took a deep breath.

“This is going to sound strange, but honestly it should be the least thing we have to worry about—I think he’s from another dimension.”

Both Maitlands looked at her like she’d suddenly sprouted a second head. Juno pursed her lips in frustration. 

“I know, I know. But Tina mentioned a watch—there are a few devices in this world that may look like ordinary timepieces, but really they allow you to jump from this universe to the next. They’re called Spacepieces; it’s nearly impossible to come by a genuine one, but even the knockoffs can be used switch oneself out with their doppelganger from the other universe. My guess is our man jumped to the next world over and left his counterpart to take the fall for his actions.”

“So...what now? We can’t just let him loose! No matter what universe he comes from, that guy must be up to no good,” replied Adam. Juno nodded in agreement. 

“That is why I have decided that  _ you two _ will watch him while I file out the paperwork to use  _ our _ Spacepiece to send him back from whence he came,” she added with a wry, knowing smile. The couple burst into uproar at that, which Juno quieted down with a few waves of her hand.

“You were the ones who let him out to begin with—surely you can deal with this...tamer version? This is just the consequences of your actions coming back to bite at you.” 

Adam nodded reluctantly. Barbara wasn’t so easy to persuade.

“But what about Lydia? We can’t trust that pervert’s intentions around her!”

Juno started to reply but her words were lost in the sound of a large metal folding chair crashing to the ground right behind the door. They all shared a look before slowly creaking the door open. The chubby ghost had somehow managed to get the chair all the way across the room, while still being handcuffed to it, and had apparently leaned over too far while trying to eavesdrop on them and fallen over. He scowled up at them. 

“Hi, yeah, I heard everything you just said, and that last one  _ offends _ me! I might not have much, but I’ve got  _ morals _ , of a sort! I wouldn’t—” he shivered, his face twisted with disgust. 

“You tried to marry her!”

“ _ It was a green card thing! _ I just wanted to be alive!”

“Alive?” questioned Adam. Beetlejuice rolled his eyes.

“No duh. That’s what happens when you marry a living person, after all.”

“No...it’s not. That would have let you remain in the living world.”

“ _ Remain? _ I was already  _ in _ the living world. You can’t get more in the living world then being banished from the Netherworld and not allowed to be anywhere else.”

Juno shrugged at the bewildered Maitlands, her expression conveying  _ ‘ah well, different universe, probably different rules.’ _

Barbara considered all this.

“Alright, Juno, he can stay.” 

Beetlejuice froze at that, stiffening up with what could only be described as pure terror. His hair faded from green to stark white in seconds. His bright yellow eyes darted about in a panic, flitting from Juno to Barbara and back again. Juno took a step back, visibly a little confused and concerned by his sudden reaction.

“Alright, please—please calm down. It’s alright. Why—why are you panicking?!”

“Because you’re my mother!”

Time seemed to stop. Juno stared down at him, her mouth agape. All three ghosts shouted in unison.

_ “WHAT?!” _


	4. Chapter 4

Lydia stormed through the doorway to the Netherworld, her hair ruffling in the breeze made when the door sealed itself shut behind her. She clutched Bad Art close to her side. She caught the attention of a few recently deceased souls waiting patiently around, but she didn't have time for any of this. She marched right up to the front desk, where Miss Argentina was busy sorting through papers. 

“Where did he go?”

The green-skinned woman looked up in confusion. Seeing Lydia, she sighed.

“I thought I told you to leave and not come back. I don’t know where your mothe—wait, ‘he’?”

“Have you seen Beej lately? But like, a skinny, less dirty, shifty beyond all reason version of him who looks like he has two black eyes?”

“Well, yes, of course there are clones of his around—thanks to those little fellas doing some of the busywork, us civil servants can finally catch a breath.”

“No, not one of the Beetleclones! Look, I don’t have time to explain but some weirdo look-alike took Beej! I’ve gotta find him and beat him senseless with this piece of sculpture until he gives me my BFFFFF back.”

Miss A stared at her with a look of mild worry and confusion, a look she was getting used to seeing from adults. 

“I saw a clo—what I  _ thought _ was a clone in quite a hurry. I hadn’t been able to find any of the others so I just handed him my clipboard and told him to head to that room with all the filing cabinets. You remember the one with the huge window and the crooked-y tree outside?”

Lydia didn't remember all the details from her mad dash through the office, because she was quite literally running for her life at the time, but something told her she could find her way there if Tina let her into the back. 

“Well, you’ve gotta let me in there!”

Lydia started trying to climb over the desk. Miss Argentina held up a hand for her to stop.

“Slow down there, girl! I’m willing to bend rules here and there for your family, but I draw the line at outright breaking them. Only people with the handbook of an employee can be back here.”

Lydia made a devious look. 

“The  _ handbook _ of a employee, huh? How about one belonging to the assistant of the Director of Customs and Processing??”

She fished around in the tote bag, pulling out the handbook Beetlejuice had given her. She’d stopped it from being all the way closed with a bookmark, so she didn't need a dead person’s help to open it to the inside cover. This was where her demonic friend had written his full name-Lawrence Betelgeuse Shoggoth-in sparkly green pen. 

“You can bend the rules, just not break them, is that what you said a minute ago?” Lydia asked in an overly sweet and innocent voice. The receptionist rolled her eyes.

“You two are birds of a feather, it’s no wonder you get along so well. Alright, come on.”

She gestured to the gate at the edge of the desk that separated the employees only area of the office from the waiting room, but Lydia didn't wait for her to unlock it. She climbed up and over the desk and sat on the edge of it. Miss A shot her a disapproving glance but did nothing to stop her from hopping off the desk and running deeper into the maze of hallways that was the Netherworld.

_ *** _

_ Movieverse _

_ *** _

_ “WHAT?!” _

Beetlejuice pulled his knees up to his chest and cringed. The Maitlands stared in horror at Juno, who for once in her afterlife, seemed truly and absolutely bewildered. Her mouth gaped open and shut like a fish, as if she wanted to say something but had no idea what. It was Barbara who broke the astonished silence.

“...are you... _ sure? _ ”

“Am I su—I’m  _ fairly sure _ I would remember the name of the person who rAISED me! The person who BANISHED me! The person who CURSED me with this stupid name thing!” he yelped back, only a slight bit of the fear that was boiling over leaking into his voice. The look in his yellow eyes could only be described as that of a cornered animal—full of terror and of rage. Juno regained her composure, steeled her gaze, and sat down on the ground to look him in the eyes. 

“I don’t know much about where you’re from. But I’m of no relation to you here. I’m not going to hurt you. If I uncuff you, will you calm down enough to go with these people?” she asked, slowly, loudly, and calmly. She gestured to the Maitlands as she did, not looking away. There were a few tense moments of silence, the two of them staring at each other. Beetlejuice swallowed and nodded, visibly relaxing. His hair changed color again, this time to a pale greenish-yellow. She stood back up and turned towards the Maitlands, striding towards her desk and rifling through the drawers for a moment. She quickly emerged with a key and unlocked the handcuffs binding the chubby demon to the overturned chair. He stood up, rubbing his wrists absentmindedly. The Maitlands were still standing in stunned silence by the door. Beetlejuice glanced at them nervously, tugging at his lapels. He was the one who broke the silence-

“I feel as though I ought to introduce myself? Even though you already know my name, obviously.”

“...Lawrence?” Adam asked, “Really, it’s  _ Lawrence? _ ”

“Again, literally why would I lie about that? Yes, my first name is Lawrence. Practically nobody calls me that, but it’s my name. The B-word is my middle name; my friends call me Beej or BJ, if it helps.” 

“It doesn’t.” Barbara snapped, turning around and grabbing Adam by the wrist. Beetlejuice looked hurt, but he trailed after them back through the offices and out of their door. Barbara had a realization.

“Oh, Adam, how are we going to explain this to the Deetzes?”

“Well, time works weirdly in there-” her husband gestured to the chalk door- “And based on that clock, Charles is at work right now, and Lydia won’t be back from school for a few hours. That just leaves Delia. We can tell them about this progressively, one at a time.”

As they talked about him as if he wasn’t there, Beetlejuice gazed around the room aimlessly. That huge model of the town against the far wall caught his eye again. He approached it, poking one of the buildings.

“Who made this? It’s put together real well.”

Adam turned around and adjusted his glasses with slight pride.

“Oh, well, I did,” he admitted. Beetlejuice prodded one of the tiny houses again.

“Why aren’t there any people? It seems lonely, all empty like this.” 

“That’s hardly the issue here,” Barbara replied curtly. 

“No, I think he has a point, it is empty,” Adam countered, crossing the room to approach the demon and the model. Beetlejuice shifted through his pockets for a few moments and emerged with the tiniest toy cat Adam had ever seen. It was posed in a scared position, its back arched and tail sticking up. It was painted black, like a void with two wide yellow eyes for stars. Beetlejuice offered it to him.

“Her name is Spooky Paws. She can live in your little town.”

Adam glanced back at Barbara, who shook her head, and he accepted the tiny cat. He set it gently atop the roof of their house’s model so he wouldn’t lose it. Barbara headed for the stairs, but before she went down them, she pointed at Beetlejuice accusingly. 

“Don’t touch anything or go anywhere. Adam, come here, we need to talk to Delia.”

Beetlejuice leaned back and crossed his legs, levitating in the air at about eye level in a sitting position. He rested his head on one hand.

“Run along and talk to Debbie then, don’t mind me.” 

With one wary glance from Barbara, the couple descended the staircase. They found her painting her latest sculpture, a model of the head of that horrible snake form Betelguese had taken when he’d first been summoned and attacked the Deetzes. Charles was terrified of it, especially now that it resembled the real deal even more with a fresh coat of paint. Adam knocked on the open door to get her attention. She glanced up.

“Oh, hi! Did you need something? Did Lydia leave the broom in the shed again?” she asked. Barbara shook her head.

“Actually, something happened, and I thought it was best to tell you now, before Charles and Lydia get back.” 

The redheaded woman nodded, a little confused.

“Does this have to do with whatever it was that happened last night? Charles woke me up when he charged down the hall, and now he won’t tell me about it other than that you had to visit the land of the dead.”

“Right. About that,” Adam added, “You remember that guy?”

He pointed to the snake sculpture, paint still drying. Delia rolled her eyes.

“How on earth could I forget? That monster very nearly killed us all, not to mention traumatizing poor Lydia.”

Out in the hallway, having pressed himself up against the wall next to the door to listen in on this conversation, Beetlejuice stiffened. 

_ Traumatized? I mean, like, yeah that whole wedding thing was...very bad. But it was really all just a misunderstanding and everyone back home has moved past that by now. What the hell did this me do? _

“Why are you bringing him up again? I don’t care what Charles has to say about how frightening my artistic depiction of him is, I’m not getting rid of this!” 

“Yeah, so, it turns out he’s back but it's not really him, it's a version of him from an alternate universe, and he might be less bad? And Juno says he has to stay here until she can send him back!” Adam blurted out in a burst of nervous energy. Barbara shot him an infuriated glance and Delia stared blankly at him. After a few seconds, she replied nonchalantly.

“Well that explains the man in stripes trying very hard to eavesdrop on us. I just assumed you’d made a ghost friend. You can come out now!” 

The Maitlands spun around in a panic and Beetlejuice poked his head in the doorframe, grinning sheepishly. 

“How long have you been there?!” Barbara gasped. She whirled back towards Delia, “You saw him standing there and didn’t say anything? The  _ stripes! _ ”

The other woman shrugged. “Having an odd taste in fashion isn’t something to get alarmed about.”

Beetlejuice tugged at his lapels for a moment and grinned toothily.

“Thanks, Daphne.”

“Delia.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said, Dahlia.”

“Enough out of you! I told you not to move!” Barbara snapped. The demon rolled his eyes.

“You don’t tell me what to do.”

“It’s my house!”

“That doesn’t make you the boss of me. Why would that make you the boss of me?”

“Because you can’t leave the house,” she argued. Beetlejuie snorted. 

“ _ Watch me! _ ”

With an overdramatic flourish, he transformed into a large white vulture with black wings, a mask marking and tail and flew out the window. Adam looked outside to see him circling the house as if it was a dying animal in the desert. 

“I guess as long as he doesn't touch the ground, he won’t be sent to Saturn,” the man observed.

“Show-off,” Barbara huffed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bird Beej turns into at the end here is a white bone-eating bearded vulture. Very cool, scary birds.


	5. Chapter 5

Adam slowly faded back into consciousness. He was lying on his back on the couch in the attic. A blanket had been thrown over him and someone had set a pillow under his head. He saw that someone sitting on the chair opposite him; Barbara, wringing her hands with worry. She hadn’t noticed his eyes were open yet, but she saw him as he sat up, rushing over to him.

“Ugh, what...happened? Lydia was shouting and there was that guy…”

He jolted.

“That guy! Where are they, we need to—”

“Adam, Adam, please calm down. You fainted in terror, you need to relax. Lydia’s fine. Probably. She and the sandworm chased the other Beetlejuice into the Netherworld, so she went to hunt him down. I would have gone with her, but...you were here, and I didn't want to be trapped away from you.”

Barbara cupped his face in her ice-cold hands and gave him a little smooch on the forehead. Suddenly, there was the clatter of someone running up the stairs and Charles threw open the attic door.

“Has anyone seen Lydia? I can’t find her anywhere!!”

Adam and Barbara shared a glance.

_ Uh-oh... _

_ *** _

_ Movieverse _

_ *** _

Charles Deetz was settling in for an afternoon of birdwatching after work. Using his binoculars, he spotted an unusually large bird in the distance. It was too far away to tell what it was—probably an osprey, based on the black-and-white coloration—but he’d be able to find out soon, seeing as it was flying towards the house. He heard Delia calling his name from the living room.

“Charles, when does Lydia get back from school? The Maitlands have something to tell you and I think it’s important enough to call for a family meeting.”

Charles turned away from the sky for a moment to answer her, but was interrupted as he was tackled by the bird—not a bird any longer, but a man—diving in through the open window. It knocked him off his chair and pinned him on his back, and only now could he get a look at his attacker. The once-bird, now-man had a pale and slightly mossy complexion, a shock of green hair, a striped suit, and—oh no, where had he seen this before? 

Beetlejuice cocked his head to the side and noted “Blonde?” aloud before the other man screamed in terror. There was the sound of several people running into the space and he was suddenly and violently thrown across the room by Barbara’s powers, knocking over a lamp. Charles staggered backwards into Delia’s arms as Barbara stood between them and the demon. Beetlejuice crouched in the corner where he’d been pushed and stared at them with an amused and curious expression. Delia looked down towards her panicking husband and gently patted his hair.

“Well, it seems we don’t need to have that family meeting anymore,” she chuckled. 

“What’s going on?! How did _ he _ get back here!?!!” 

“It’s not the same one, clearly,” Barbara replied irritatedly, “It’s a little hard to explain, but he’s from an alternate universe and he has nowhere else to go until our caseworker can send him back.”

“You’re blonde,” noted Beetlejuice again. Charles lay where he fell for a few moments in an attempt to process this. He stood up and retreated behind his wife, slowly backing out of the room entirely. Delia trailed after him. Barbara shot the demon in the corner with a look that could kill, if he hadn’t already been dead. 

“He’s _ blonde _,” Beetlejuice remarked to no one in particular, not paying attention to the very angry ghost woman glaring at him. He finally looked up at her, cracking his neck.

“I guess this just leaves this world’s Scarecrow to meet. Or—no, I oughta come up with new nicknames for everyone, so I can keep you all straight in my mind. It’s gonna get real confusing real fast if I use the same names for you all, especially for the author.” 

“The who? Ugh, nevermind! You, sir-” she pointed an accusatory finger at him- “need to be stopped, or at least corralled. There are house rules here and you’re going to follow them whether you like it or not, or _ so help me! _ And _ who _ is Scarecrow?” 

The demon rolled his yellow eyes.

“Lydia, duh. Who else is in the house?”

“You’re going nowhere near her,” she snapped. Beetlejuice looked hurt. He rested his head on one hand. 

“Look, if it makes you trust me any more, I’ll hear you out on those ‘rules’.”

Barbara glared at him.

“What? Why are you still angry at me? I’m literally doing what you asked!”

_ *** _

The adults gathered in an uncomfortable circle in the living room. Delia alone seemed rather unbothered, sitting next to Charles on one end of the couch, who was perched anxiously in his seat. Beetlejuice was on the far side of the couch with his feet on the cushions and his head resting on his knees. He glanced sullenly around the room. Barbara was at the front of the room holding a box of chalk and glaring at the aforementioned demon, and Adam was wheeling a mini blackboard up so they could write down rule suggestions on it. Barbara rapped her piece of chalk against the wooden frame of the board to get everyone’s attention.

“So, you all know why we’re here. _ This _ man-” she pointed to Beetlejuice, who dutifully flipped her off- “is going to be here for an indeterminate amount of time, and there’s nothing I can do about it. So he has agreed to attempt to follow some set of rules or guidelines if we can draw them up. Any questions? You don’t need to raise your hand, Charles, it isn’t grade school.”

Charles lowered his hand.

“Don’t turn into a bird and tackle me across the room.”

“Can you broaden that a little bit, please? Very specific,” Barbara prompted. Charles pondered that for a moment.

“Try to keep crazy ghost powers to a minimum?” 

“Better,” she replied, writing that down on the chalkboard. Beetlejuice rolled his eyes, mumbling “Buzzkill,” under his breath. Barbara shot him a look that read ‘you agreed to this, and if you back out now, I’ll feed you to a sandworm’ which he gleefully ignored.

“Well, I’ve got a rule suggestion of my own,” she added, “That being _ personal space _. Actually, here’s an idea—don’t touch anyone. At all. Ever.”

She wrote this down and pointedly underlined it twice. 

“So I’m just not allowed to do anything, am I?” Beetlejuice quipped. Barbara nodded completely unironically. He rolled his eyes and shrugged. All of a sudden, the door opened behind them and everyone spun around.

“Hey guys, I’m back…from...”

Lydia’s voice trailed off as she stiffened in fear. Beetlejuice’s face lit up like a loyal pet who’d just spotted their favorite human.

_ “Scarecrow!” _

_ *** _

_ End of Chapter Five _

_ *** _


	6. Chapter 6

In the span of about four seconds, several things happened. Beetlejuice vaulted over the back of the couch towards Lydia. She shrieked and took a step back outside, hurriedly pulling the door shut with her. He slammed into the now closed door with an audible crunch. Barbara grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and forcibly pulled him back with murder in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but Adam read the situation and decided he was finished with it.

“Enough!” his voice rang out. The two ghosts turned to face him almost in shock, Beetlejuice taking the moment to slip out of his jacket, leaving Barbara holding the empty garment. Adam took a deep breath, even though he no longer needed to.

“I have had it with your bickering back and forth. We know next to nothing about him, he doesn’t seem to be anywhere near as awful as the one from our world, and most importantly _ he hasn’t done anything yet! _ He’s done nothing to deserve this from you! And sure, maybe he isn’t the most socially well adjusted or respectful of boundaries, but I think we all need to calm down and have a conversation that isn’t filled with spite!”

Everyone stared at him in stunned silence for a few seconds. Beetlejuice broke it.

“Daaaaamn Adam...thanks.”

He took a couple steps away from the door and sat cross-legged in the air. Barbara realized what she was holding and, balling it up, threw it at the demon’s head.

“Fine,” she replied, “I accept that. But you stay over there and don’t say a  _ word _ until I explain this to Lydia. Charles, she’s your daughter too, get over here.” 

She used her powers to drag the anxious man across the room. He pulled himself together and opened the door. There stood Lydia, shivering both from the cold and the fear. 

“Dad? Dad, what’s going on? That man was here yesterday, I thought they got him, but now he’s back and you’re all just okay with this? Did I miss something?!”

Charles wrapped his arms around her, stepping outside even though Barbara couldn’t.

“Shhh, pumpkin, it’s fine. It’s okay. Uh...I’m still not 100% on what's happening, so I’ll let her explain.”

He looked up at Barbara with a  _ please help me _ expression. She nodded in confirmation.

“So according to Juno--our caseworker, remember?--there are other dimensions that are just like this one, only different. So the people are similar to here but they look and act differently even if they seem the same at first. The ghost-whose-name-we aren’t-going-to-say used some kind of device that lets you jump back and forth between dimensions to escape, and on the way he somehow swapped his counterpart over to our world. Juno’s trying to figure out how to recapture the other one and send this one back, but until then, she’s making him stay with us because we released the other one that one time. And I don’t trust him at all, but he doesn’t seem anywhere near as bad as that guy, and no one is going to let you get hurt. Okay?”

Lydia sniffed, still not entirely convinced.

“M’kay.” 

She opened the door the rest of the way, stepped inside, and stared across the room at the stripe-clad demon. He stared awkwardly back and waved.

“Um...hi. Sorry for jumping at you, I didn't mean to freak you out. I don’t know what happened here that was so different from my universe, but I know it can’t have been good. I like spooking people, sure, but not like that, kid.”

He absentmindedly played with one of his suspenders as he spoke. Lydia studied him for a few seconds before replying.

“Apology accepted, uh-” she turned to her family for a moment- “What are we going to call him if we can’t say his name?”

She was met with a blank look--no one had considered this. Beetlejuice rolled his eyes and cleared his throat to get their attention.

“What, did you two forget already? I told you, my first name is actually Lawrence. That other word that I can’t say which begins with ‘B’ is my middle name. My friends call me Beej, which I hope is helpful. Now, if no one minds, I’m going to go sit on the roof and stare at the sky. Hyah!”

He threw a smoke bomb at the ground, which failed to go off. They all stared awkwardly at him as he kicked at it in an effort to make it activate, eventually gave up, and walked up the stairs, closing the door behind him. 

“I wonder if I can get him to pose as a color reference for my snake sculpture,” Delia pondered aloud. Charles, Lydia, and Barbara shot her a look.

_ *** _

The next few hours were relatively uneventful, compared to everything that had just happened. Beetlejuice was nowhere to be found as Lydia did her homework and ate dinner with her family. She was reading a book in her room when she heard something tapping on her window. There weren’t any trees close enough to her window to hit it when the wind was blowing, so she wasn’t entirely surprised when she opened her curtains and saw the bright yellow eyes of Beetlejuice glowing in the dim light outside. He pressed his face up against the glass like a third grader at the aquarium and smiled in a way that would have been nonthreatening if it weren’t for the pointy teeth.

“What do you want?” the girl asked warily, opening the window partially so she’d be able to hear his reply. 

“Nail polish.”

“What?”

“Nail polish,” he repeated, resting his hands on the windowsill, “I bite my nails when I get anxious, and I wasn’t expecting to get thrown into another universe this morning, so I didn’t pack my nail polish in one of the pockets I’ve sewn into the lining of my jacket. And I doubt that Donna has any black, but you seem like the kind of person who would, even if you don’t wear nearly as much black as Scarecrow.”

“It’s a uniform, I don’t get a choice about what I wear on school days—wait over there-,” she replied, walking across the room to dig through a drawer in the bathroom, “But yeah, I’m a lot less sad all the time, so I introduced some color into my wardrobe for once.”

“The blue is nice. It’s a good combination with the white and black, very aesthetically pleasing,” he said. As Lydia looked for the black nail polish, she continued to hear him muttering to himself about something. 

“Blue and black and white...if we’re still going with the bird theme then… and corvids...BlueJay!”

That last bit was shouted and accompanied with him pounding his fist against the window frame in excitement. Lydia jumped, hitting her head on a drawer and almost dropping the glass container she was holding.

“Huh?”

The demon smiled proudly back at her.

“It’s your new nickname, so I don’t get you confused with the other Lydia. You’re BlueJay now. Ooh, give, give, give,” he replied, spotting that she had the nail polish. She held it up to the opening she’d cracked in the window and he grabbed it out of her hands. He leaned against the roof and began painting his nails.

“It’s sparkly!” he exclaimed joyfully, holding up one hand and wiggling his fingers. He stuck it back through the gap in the partially opened window where Lydia reclaimed it and put it back in the drawer. She briefly considered shutting the window the rest of the way, but although she was frightened, she was also intrigued by this new ghostly doppelgänger. “So, if you’re from another universe, what’s it like there?” she asked. He pondered this for a little while.

“Well, my Babs is about nine inches shorter than yours, and a lot less mean to me, for a start. The Adams are equally handsome, however. And Chuck was taller and he had a beard. He wasn’t blonde either.”

“Huh.”

“Okay, my turn for questions now—we can take turns, it’ll be fun—where’s Daphne’s cat? Can’t find the little bastard anywhere.”

“Delia doesn’t have a cat,” she replied, confused. He shrugged. 

“Ah well. Okay, now you.”

“What’s up with your eyes?” she wondered. Beetlejuice narrowed them at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, they’re yellow. Living people don’t have yellow eyes. Did they change color after you died?”

“Died? I’ve always been this way,” he chuckled.

“Yellow-eyed?”

“ _ Dead _ . I’m a demon, kid, not a ghost. I was born like this.”

Lydia wrinkled her nose.

“I’ve never heard of a demon before. The other you was a ghost, like Adam and Barbara. He was…”

She shivered at the memory. Beetlejuice frowned.

“What’d he do to you, BlueJay? I mean, I’ve messed up in the past when it comes to you, but I still don’t know all of the differences in this world compared to mine. Where I come from, we were friends! Then I fucked up, and there was this whole misunderstanding, and it got kinda weird but that was a green-card thing, and you stabbed me in the abdomen, but I made up for it by saving your family from my family, and it all worked itself out in the end.”

Lydia stared at him blankly.

“I’m sorry, what was that about stabbing?” she asked, worried and confused. 

“You know what? Don’t worry about it. Don’t even worry about it,” he replied in a way that failed entirely to make her not worry about that.

“You can’t just say you got stabbed by the other me and not elaborate on that! I would never stab anyone!” she said frantically. He looked at her, confused.

“Then you and Scarecrow must be more different than I thought. She would stab without hesitation. She pushed me off her roof for shits and giggles the first time we met,” he added, smiling as if it was a fond memory. She shot him a concerned look and he gave up on evading the question.

“Apparently in your world, the result of a dead person marrying a living person is different than in mine. See, where I come from, if you do that, you get to become alive again. I didn't even want that at first—I just wanted a friend who could see me. Scarecrow and I hung out, chased her dad out of the house, scared the neighbors, typical friend things. But I fucked everything up because of a misunderstanding—I thought she was going to abandon me like everyone else always does when they don't need me anymore.”

He glanced warily at her, looking very ashamed of what he said next.

“I may or may not have extorted her to get her to marry me.  _ Before you get upset _ , it was 100% a platonic and green card event. I mean, I might be a monster, but I’m not that kind of monster.”

He paused for a moment.

“Oh, and she got everyone to pretend to go along with it, then when I became a human she impaled me on a piece of sculpture. It’s a fair trade, really; I betray her, she stabs me, we’re even. No hard feelings.”

He looked back through the window pane at Lydia, who seemed to be reevaluating everything she knew about him. Finally she spoke.

“You’re not  _ that _ bad of a guy, definitely nothing compared to the you from my universe. He  _ definitely  _ didn’t make that distinction when he tried to make me marry him.”

It took a few seconds for Beetlejuice to process that, but when he did, his face screwed up in revulsion.

“Oh.  _ Oh _ . That’s fucking  _ sick _ . I can’t—”

He froze all of a sudden.

_ The way he got here was a faulty magic device that switched my body with his,  _ he thought  _ and when I was last in my own world, I was hanging out with Scarecrow. _

_ Oh no. _

The demon jumped up, almost falling off the roof and startling Lydia.

“What’s wrong?!” she asked.

“I need to get to the Netherworld. Right now.”

_ *** _

_ Musicalverse _

_ *** _

Lydia wandered aimlessly through the never-ending dark maze that was the Netherworld’s office. She hadn’t found a single map anywhere, and her memory of the place wasn’t the best. Eventually, the narrow hallways opened up into a room that was lined wall-to-wall with filing cabinets. She couldn’t see the ceiling from were she stood, and they seemed to stretch up forever. On the far wall of the room there was a large window, and looking outside, she could see a huge gnarled tree with blackened bark. She could also see the silhouette of the creepy doppelgänger who’d replaced her Beetlejuice lazily reading a newspaper with his feet propped up on a chair right next to said window. Slowly edging towards him, trying not to attract attention, she felt around on a desk and found a heavy paperweight. She crept closer and lobbed it at his head with a shout. It connected, knocking him out of his seat. He quickly jumped to his feet, finally noticing her.

“Lydia, Lydia, Lydia. Clever little trick there with the sandworm, but I can see you didn’t bring it this time. Just couldn’t stay away?”

“What did you do to my friend?” she spat. He chortled.

“Come a little closer and find out!”

She considered this.

“Well, I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting any closer.”

She readied Bad Art, wielding it like a lance and charged with murder in her eyes. That caught him off guard—he definitely wasn’t expecting to be attacked by a homicidal teenage girl with a sculpture, and she drove the point into his chest. 

There was a short pause as they both stared at the spot where the pole went through.

“You do know that dead people don’t feel pain, right?” he offered, “Lucky shot with the paperweight though, babe.”

She pulled the pole out of his chest and clobbered him upside the head with the blunt end of Bad Art, sending him backwards through the window. She covered her face with one arm as shards of glass exploded across the room, and far below she heard a sickening wet crunch. 

“How’s that for a lucky shot?” she shouted into the void. No response. 

She used the edge of Bad Art to knock a few spikes of jagged glass off the bottom edge of the window and peered down. Betelguese lay far below in the shadow of the twisted and leafless tree, unmoving. She hopped over the window ledge and climbed down the blackened trunk. 

“What? No witty quip?” she shouted at the limp figure on the ground, warily beginning to approach it. He remained motionless. 

_ That’s odd. Can dead people get concussions? _

She took a few steps closer and poked at him with the end of Bad Art. One blue eye snapped open and his hand shot out to grab it firmly. She shouted in surprise as he pulled himself to his feet, wrenching the weapon out of her hands as he did so. She took a few steps back towards the tree as he looked it over for a few seconds, chucking it over one shoulder as he decided it was worthless. She stepped on a twig and he glanced back towards her. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

“Where you headed?”

He stretched out one hand and made a ‘come here’ motion. With a horrible pressure in her head—so  _ that’s  _ what possession felt like—she felt herself being rapidly yanked back towards him as if she was being pulled by an invisible rope. His bony fingers closed tightly around her throat. The dial on one of the many mismatched watches around his wrist lit up and he calmly regarded it as she struggled for air. He reached over to it with his other hand and twisted it sharply to the right. The last thing she saw before a flash of blinding silvery light eclipsed her vision was his leering grin.

_ *** _

_ End of Chapter Six _

_***_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3


	7. Chapter 7

The hour was late, and the Maitlands were turning in for the night. Adam had just started to drift off when he heard a _ creeeak _ come from the far corner of the attic. He sat up and turned around to see a now familiar pair of bright eyes attached to a striped figure crouching in front of the open windowsill. Barbara had also been startled awake and snapped, “What are you doing in here?!” at him.

“You left your locks pickable,” Beetlejuice replied, normally bright hair now a faded shade of yellow-green. Adam still didn't understand what was up with the other man’s hair changing colors, but he had noticed that it seemed to act as a mood ring. White and yellow were definitely ‘fear’ colors through, that much he was certain on. Well, 80% certain. No, make that 78%. Regardless, the other man was clearly on edge about something.

“Is something wrong? Now why are you upset?” Adam asked. The demon flinched, trying to inch towards the chalk door.

“I need to get into the Netherworld, and I don’t have any chalk.” 

“I’m just as eager to be rid of you as you must be, but we can’t be constantly bothering Juno. Can’t this wait until tomorrow?” suggested Barbara. Beetlejuice turned back towards her, his eyes narrowed into slits and his mouth twisted into a grimace.

“No, it can’t. It’s kind of an emergency, but it’s not like it concerns you so just go on and roll back over,” he snapped, sharp teeth clicking together. 

“An emergency? Well, what’s wrong?” asked Adam worriedly. 

“Go back to **bed**, Glasses,” the demon growled, his voice somehow dropping even deeper and gaining a monstrous and echoey two-toned quality on the second-to-last word. He stood up straighter, now next to the chalk outline, and rapidly rapped on it three times. As the door slowly opened itself, he wedged long, black, clawlike nails that Adam hadn’t noticed before into the crack and tore it open the rest of the way. A very surprised looking older woman in gray stood on the other side, one hand held up as if she had been about to knock.

“Juno!” exclaimed the Maitlands.

_ *** _

The ghosts (and one demon) were seated in tense silence around Juno, who was holding a clipboard and a box shaped like the ones fancy watches come in under her arm. She set the box down beside her and instinctively swatted one of Beetlejuice’s grubby hands away from it without looking. 

“Does anyone have a pen?” she inquired, not looking up from the sheet of paper on the clipboard. Beetlejuice felt around the inside of his jacket and procured a pen that resembled the kind which are usually attached to a desk by a chain. It read ‘property of Netherworld Customs and Processing, do not remove from office’ in tiny red lettering on the side. She snatched it from his hand and scribbled silently as the tense silence resumed. 

“So...what are you doing here, exactly?” Adam inquired. She shot him a cold glance and kept at her work.

“I am finishing up this form that authorizes use of the Spacepiece, which has to be signed by both a Netherworld employee—me—and the person requesting use of it—him. Here.”

She shoved the clipboard in Beetlejuice’s face. He flinched before realizing what it was and took it from her, glancing it over. The elderly ghost pointed out various blank spaces while flipping through the papers.

“Sign here, initial there, any allergies if you have them, initial, name of your first pet, initial again...and that should be it.”

He reached for the box, assuming all was well, but his hand was instinctively slapped away again. She pointed at him accusatory.

“Not so fast. There is one last thing you need to know, so pay attention. Alright, I got word from my superiors that traveling between worlds with this device may involve a trace amount of time travel. So if you see your alternate self, and you’re both wearing one, do not let the devices come into contact. They tell me that it would wipe out time. Forward and backward.”

She said this with such nonchalance, you’d think it was something she’d had to remind people of every day. Finally, she handed a stunned Beetlejuice the box. He opened it to reveal a watch made of black metal with gold symbols instead of numbers on the dial. 

“Is there an instruction manual for this thing?”

“There aren’t unlimited worlds, unlike what most believe about the multiverse and whatnot. Only two or three. Just twist the dial to the left to go back to your world and once you’re there, twist it right to come back. You can take people or objects as long as you’re holding onto them, which is how you’re going to be returning this world’s version of yourself. Good luck with that one—he’s a slippery character.”

Beetlejuice nodded, putting the watch on. Juno bid the Maitlands goodbye and left through the Netherworld door as he tightened it around his wrist. He turned to the couple with a smile Adam could almost describe as shy.

“It was pretty cool meeting you, even if you hate me for reasons that I don’t understand and are beyond my control. Catch you on the flip side.”

He made a finger gun at them with the hand that had the watch on it, and twisted the dial left with the other. Both ghosts had to shield their eyes as he vanished in a flash of golden light.

_ *** _

_ Musicalverse _

_ *** _

Miss Argentina was pacing nervously around her office, occasionally glancing at an object on her desk and then looking away again, when she suddenly heard a loud crash outside of the room. She opened the door just a crack to find none other then Lawrence ‘Beetlejuice’ Shoggoth lying in a pile of rubble that once was a chair. He looked up from where he lay.

“Oh, hey Tina.”

The receptionist was completely unphased by this; she’d definitely seen weirder coming from him.

“Hey, Lawrence.”

The demon stood up and dusted himself off.

“Wow, that really hurt. Tina, you haven’t seen Scarecrow anywhere, have you? I really need to find her, like, right now.”

Miss Argentina was suddenly unable to meet his gaze. His smile fell.

“Tina.”

She remained silent.

“Tina where is the breather child.”

She shook her head and looked up, motioning him into her office.

“Vincent found this in the records storage room,” she replied glumly, pointing to an object on her desk. It resembled a long steel pole with a sharpened tip and a large dark sculpture shaped similar to an extra-toed bird’s talon attached to the other end. Bad Art. Beetlejuice hovered over it worriedly.

“This is Lydia’s! She’d never just abandon it here.”

He whirled around to face the ghostly receptionist, his hair fading to white.

“Why was she that deep in the tunnels? Nobody goes into the storage room anyway!”

“She came here looking for you—well, not you, but this spindly little guy who resembled you. I thought he was a clone, and that’s where he was headed.”

_ Him. _

_ He’s got Scarecrow. _

_ He’s got Scarecrow, he’s got Scarecrow, He’s got my Scarecrow. _

The demon stood frozen in horror as his thoughts spiraled in a panicked loop. The green-skinned woman caught onto what was happening and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him to snap him out of it.

“I have no idea what’s going on here and something tells me you don’t have time to explain. But if your doppelgänger took her, you can’t go after him alone.”

She pressed a piece of chalk into his hand.

“Go bring that girl back in one piece. She was growing on me.”

He picked up Bad Art, looked at the chalk, and his eyes widened in realization.

“What am I gonna tell _ Chuck _?!”

_ *** _

_ Movieverse _

_ *** _

Since the abrupt ending of her strange encounter with the other Beetlejuice, Lydia had tried and failed to fall asleep. She eventually gave up on rest entirely and curled up under her bedside lamp with a copy of _ The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe _. Suddenly, she heard a strange scrabbling noise and glimpsed out of the corner of her eye a bright silver flash coming from the inside of her closet. 

“Beej? Did you come back?”

She got up and walked across the room, opening the closet door. The inside of the closet was dark as night and she couldn’t see anything in the black expanse. 

“Guess not.”

Satisfied with her examination, she turned around to go back to bed. As she was about to walk away, quick as a flash, a hand emerged from the darkness and clamped itself over her mouth. Another pinned her wrists together behind her back.

“Guess you were wrong about that, babes,” a voice that reeked of rotting flesh purred from the shadows. The struggling girl was pulled back into the closet and the door slammed shut.

_ *** _

_ End of Chapter Seven _

_ *** _


	8. Chapter 8

“So let me get this straight,” Charles began nervously, “That demon with the stupid hair vanished, and he’s been replaced with some doppelgänger who is  _ even worse _ …and you let my daughter go after him into the Netherworld on her own?!” 

“To be fair, we can’t leave the house without getting stuck on Saturn or permanently trapped in the Netherworld. And I don’t know if wild sandworms are as friendly as Sandy,” Adam countered. Charles gave him a disappointed glance. All of a sudden, the faded chalk outline of a door on the wall lit up with electric green flashes. Everyone jumped back as it was thrown open and Beetlejuice, hair streaked purple and yellow, stumbled through it. It was obvious that he had been crying when he looked up at them with eyes wide. 

“You! I was told you were missing and had been replaced with a different person! Where is my daughter?” Charles exclaimed, stepping forward. Beetlejuice collapsed forward onto his knees, a long pole no one had noticed he was carrying falling out of his hands and clattering to the floor. It was Delia’s sculpture and Lydia’s sharpened and repurposed weapon. 

“I—he—he took her, Chuck.”

The words came out in a sob. Charles stiffened and said, “What?” at almost the same time Barbara shouted “Who?” 

The demon picked himself up off the ground and grabbed Charles by the shoulders. The purple in his hair was beginning to bleed into scarlet, which alongside the white streaks made him resemble a very distressed and frightened candy cane.

“This doesn’t make a ton of sense, but I’m gonna explain the best I can before we run out of time. Get it? Got it? Good. So, in summary: the multiverse theory is real, and the me from one world over is  _ bad news _ . He tried to escape from Netherworld Management by using a faulty magic item to switch me out with him, but using it at the right time seems to have kicked it into gear and now he can world-jump whenever he likes. I got a matching device that works like it should from the people in his world. He’s the one who took Scarecrow. Any questions?”

Everyone was stunned into silence. Charles’ facial expression twisted from confusion, to sheer panic, and then reached the high enough level of terror where it wrapped right back around to calm.

“I’ve got a  _ lot _ of questions actually, but the most important thing is Lydia,” Charles said in a dissonantly serene voice.

“Wherever you’re going, I’m going too. She’s not my daughter in blood, but she is in—excuse the pun—spirit,” Barbara added. Adam swallowed nervously.

“I’m not much for battle and Delia isn’t here, so maybe I ought to stay behind and man the fort?”

Barbara pressed a little kiss to his cheek and turned to the striped demon. 

“Good idea, you can keep watch. Don’t let me down. Beetlejuice, what do we do now?” 

“C’mere, we all have to hold hands or something like that, this watch thing only takes me and anything I’m touching to the other world,” he replied

Charles picked up Bad Art and put a hand on Beetlejuice’s shoulder and Barbara linked elbows with him. He rolled up one sleeve to reveal the black and gold watch, gripped the dial and twisted it to the right, blinding everyone in a bright golden burst.

_ *** _

_ Movieverse _

_ *** _

The three of them appeared in the living room, quickly breaking apart. Suddenly, Beetlejuice was violently yanked across the room by ghostly power. A dark and curly-haired Barbara Maitland grabbed him by the tie and slammed him into a wall, making a valiant effort to throttle him with his own tie.

“WHERE IS SHE?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?”

Charles stared in stunned confusion and the other Barbara opened her mouth to say something as Beetlejuice clawed at his throat.

“What are you talking about?!” he gasped. 

“You know DAMN well what I’m talking about!”

Adam, standing halfway up the stairs and not being as blinded by rage as his wife, spotted the other two dimensional hoppers. 

“Barb…you might want to look at this.”

She turned and saw them, her eyes widening. Her death grip on Beetlejuice’s tie relaxed slightly.

The blonde Barbara waved nervously.

“Um…hi? Can you please put him down?”

Her counterpart studied them. She released the demon’s tie but kept him pinned to the wall by the neck. 

“I suppose you must be me. And you’re—”

“Charles,” said Charles, “Why are you trying to kill him…for the third time?”

“Lydia  _ disappeared _ from her room in the middle of the night right after  _ he _ went back to wherever you’re from, and I found—Adam, show them the note!”

“He took ours too! He took her. He’s got Scarecrow,” Beetlejuice panted. Charles mournfully held out Bad Art. Barbara huffed, turning back towards the intimidated demon.

“I still think that you two are in league, but I’ll hear them out. For now. If you have  _ anything _ to do with  _ my daughter _ being in that monster’s clutches, I’ll make you WISH you could die again.”

“...Okaay, let’s all calm down and focus here. You mentioned a note. Like a ransom note?” the blonde Barbara wondered. Adam nodded, pulling a ragged piece of parchment that might once have been white from his shirt pocket. It was crusted with dirt and had a little bit of mold on one corner. The writing on it was clearly old-fashioned ink and quill. Charles took it from him and read it aloud:

_ ‘Dear Babs and co, _

_ I’ve got Lydia. A pair, actually. Feisty, that one from the other world is. I've got my one way ticket to the world of the living (plus a spare!) and from there, who knows what kinds of fun I'll be getting up to? _

_ PS: You aren't getting them back, even after I'm through with 'em. Consider it a final 'fuck you' for that little sandworm stunt during my ill-fated wedding. _

_ Best (and by that, I mean worst) wishes, _

_ The Ghost with the Most' _

Beetlejuice scowled and bared his teeth as his hair blazed crimson. 

“That does it. This fucker is  _ so _ at the top of my to-kill list!”

“I’m going to ignore that you have a to-kill list in favor of pointing out that the other you definitely deserves to head it. But what do we do now?” Barbara wondered aloud, “I don’t know anything about who we’re dealing with, especially if he’s nothing like our Beej and is instead…like that-” she gestured vaguely and made a face that somehow perfectly communicated ‘he seems like a scumbag’- “and I don’t know how we’re going to find him or Lydia. Lydias. Lydi?”

Beetlejuice made grabby hands at the letter Charles was holding.

“I’m a demon, and I have an excellent sense of smell and a pretty damn good memory. I could probably track him, if you let go of me and let me take a look at that.”

The brunette woman sighed and reluctantly released him. She took the parchment from Charles and handed it to the demon, taking a step back and crossing her arms. He turned it over in his hands, closely examining it. He sniffed it deeply, and then licked it, earning a repulsed groan from both of this world’s Maitlands. Barbara turned away from him to look at Charles, something clearly on her mind.

“How are you so calm right now? Our Charles is curled up and rocking back and forth in a corner having a nervous breakdown.”

“Oh, I’m running on pure adrenaline right now. I repress things, it’s what I do. Believe me, I’m going to break down and maybe pass out the minute I am holding my daughter,” he replied. They both turned when Adam yelped “Take that out of your mouth!” at the striped demon, who had begun chewing faster.

“Did he  _ eat _ it?!” Barbara shouted. Her blonde counterpart nodded.

“He ate it,” she replied, in a tired tone that suggested this was in no way the strangest thing that she’d seen him eat. Beetlejuice held up a hand, tilting his head from side to side. He swallowed and began,

“There’s a very distinctive type of soil found only in Eurasia shortly after the Black Plague here, combined with fibers from a kind of processed cotton used to make suits in 1920, which are two things that are normally not found together anywhere else than our man, which is something I can definitely trace.

“From where I’m standing, it smells like the trail begins and ends in Bluejay’s room, which means he probably jumped back to my universe after taking her.”

He looked around the room, fangs bared in a mirthless snarl.

“Come with me. Let’s make this fucker  _ pay _ .”

_ *** _

_ ??? _

_ *** _

Lydia stumbled forward as she was roughly shoved away by her captor. Her vision still adjusting to the abrupt change in lighting, she spun around to face him, breathing quickened and heart in her ears. Betelgeuse grinned down at her.

“We,” he began, “are gonna finish what we-”

He was interrupted quite suddenly by a black blur dashing at him from behind, screaming something the author will not repeat. Lydia shrieked and shielded her face as he turned to face it and the blur pounced. She heard a shout of pain and she looked up to see a girl with a face nearly identical to her own trying to claw his right eye out with a safety pin. He threw her off, launching her across the room with his powers while clutching one dark blue eye. 

“Fine then. Save you for later!” he spat. He grabbed one of his watches and vanished just as the other girl got up and leapt again. Her eyes locked with Lydia’s and widened in confusion.

“Who the hell are you?” she snapped. Something clicked in Lydia’s head.

“You must be...Scarecrow, right?” she asked. Scarecrow narrowed her eyes at her and took a step forward, brandishing her bloodied safety pin. 

“How do you know my nickname? Are you my clone?!”

Lydia held up her hands placatingly. 

“Wait, has no one explained the—okay, here, listen. I’m from a parallel universe. I don’t know if anybody has explained this all to you yet, but other universes than yours exist, and he and I are from one, and he is basically the worst. He’s tried to escape from the Netherworld before, and he used that silver watch to escape into your world, but accidentally sent your world’s version of himself to my world—I met him, he seems okay—and now…I guess he’s got us.”

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as the realization hit and she sank to the ground, knees pressed to her chest. Scarecrow lowered her safety pin and approached the other girl, sitting down beside her. She patted Lydia’s hair in an awkward attempt to console her.

“If it makes you feel any better, he probably isn’t going to kill us. He definitely needs you alive,” Scarecrow said, quickly adding, “That’s probably not helping, I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s okay,” the other girl replied, wiping her face with her sleeve and looking around, “Where are we?”

They stared out at a truly bizarre expanse. The room they were in appeared to be a particularly large walk-in closet with no doors, windows, or exits of any kind. The walls were discolored beige and the ground was covered in a fuzzy magenta carpet. There were racks of really weird-looking clothes, some of which Lydia recognized. What seemed to be a replica of Adam’s plaid shirt off to one side, a bizarre spiked mess to the other, a purple set of—were those pajamas?—the maroon and yellow outfit he’d worn during the ‘wedding’, and interestingly, what looked like a shed snakeskin with an almost human-looking head, all intermixed with other outfits from various periods in history. On a hook, directly underneath a hook that looked like it was a place a hat wouldn’t be hung, was a tattered gray trenchcoat.

She turned to Scarecrow.

“Is this his closet? Did he lock us in a closet?”

The other girl nodded, smiling faintly to herself about a joke she’d clearly wanted to tell someone for a while but hadn’t been able to due to being by herself.

“Yep,” she replied, popping the ‘P’, “We’re locked in a closet, and are remaining here for the time being. Can’t let anyone know we’re gay, hah.”

The other Lydia shot her a look of surprise and worry and Scarecrow sighed.

“You don’t explain the jo—it’s because we’re in a closet! It’s a pun—closet, closeted.”

Lydia elbowed her nervously.

“You can’t just  _ say _ that, even if no one’s listening.”

Scarecrow looked at her with mild confusion then pulled a hat resembling a black and grey policeman’s cap with a plate over the brim reading  _ GUIDE _ out from behind her back.

“Anyway, I’m stealing this hat. It’s mine now.” 

“Why.”

“Just because. It’s been like...at least a day, I’m really hungry and bored—I think the fucking stripy idiot keeping us here forgot living people need food—and I have very limited resources with which to properly Home Alone this closet. So I’m taking out that frustration by stealing hats.”

“What’s Home Alone?” Lydia wondered. Scarecrow stared at her like she was an idiot.

“How do you not know what Home Alone is? Have you been living under a rock? That movie has been in the cultural consciousness since before I was born; I mean, it came out in like 1990, that was 30 years ago.” 

It was the other Lydia’s turn to stare. Scarecrow narrowed her eyes.

“What’re you looking at? What’s wrong?”

“It’s 1988 where I’m from! How could a movie from 1990 have come out 30 years ago in your universe?”

“Wha—it’s the  _ 80’s _ !? Your universe is in the past?”

“I was gonna say that your world is in the future, but I guess it’s the same difference,” the other girl replied. Scarecrow furrowed her brow.

“Well, that’s weird as shit, but it’s hardly our biggest problem right now. In any case I can’t keep calling you ‘Lydia’ in my mind because I’m Lydia and you have a nickname for me, so I should call you by a nickname so we don’t get each other confused. Is there anything else I could call you?”

“When I met him, your Be-Insect Drink Man started calling me Bluejay, specifically so he wouldn’t mix us up. Does that work?” Bluejay replied. Scarecrow grinned and gave her a playful punch to the arm.

“Sounds great. Want to help me make a salt circle?”

_ *** _

_ End of Chapter Eight _

_ *** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Movie!Lydia, a lesbian in Reagan era 80s: When I said I needed to stay in the closet, this isn’t what I had in mind


	9. Chapter 9

Delia Deetz was attempting to comfort her panicking husband as best she could when she heard a knock on the bedroom door. As she turned around, Barbara Maitland walked through without being invited.

“Sorry to intrude, but I am a ghost who can walk through walls, and I don’t have a lot of time. The other world’s You-Know-Who came back, he brought the other me and the other Charles—hello Charles, not doing any better I see—and even though I still think he must be responsible for all this, he’s our only lead. So we’re going to his world to get our children back. Take care of the house while we’re gone.”

Delia took a moment to process that.

“I’m sorry, ‘children?’ As in plural? Oh-” She snapped her fingers- “Wait, the other world’s Lydia must be missing too, right?”

Barbara paused, open-mouthed.

“How did you guess?” 

The redheaded woman shrugged.

“Just a hunch!”

Barbara shook it off and nodded, passing back through the door. The adults stood in a semicircle around Beetlejuice, perched nervously on a footrest. He caught her gaze and held up his arm.

“Ready to go? Anything you want to grab first? I don’t know how good you two-” he pointed at this world’s Maitlands- “are at using your powers, but she-” he gestured towards the blonde Barbara- “is going to need a weapon. Chuck, just stay out of the way and try not to get maimed. Capiche? Hands in when you’re ready.”

“I don’t know about you, Adam, but I’ve been practicing and I have an idea,” replied Barbara with a frightful gleam in her eye. Adam looked at her with adoration and the other world’s Barbara wondered to herself if that’s how her Adam looked at her when no one was watching. Everyone rested their hands on the demon and shielded their eyes in expectation of the gold flare that consumed them.

_ *** _

_ Musicalverse _

_ *** _

The motley group appeared in the Netherworld break room (which any civil servant would tell you is an oxymoron) with a flash. Beetlejuice glanced around anxiously.

“Stick close,” he muttered, pulling a ragged gray trenchcoat out of nowhere and slipping it on, “Don’t know what could be out here. I’m gonna go talk to Tina, then we find this little bitch and beat him senseless. Oh, Babs!”

Both Barbaras looked up at him. He sighed.

“ _ My _ Babs. Here, I wanted to let you borrow this.”

He reached into an inner pocket and pulled out a silver scope-style game show microphone that in no way should have been able to fit there. He pressed a button on the side and a blade the length of a kitchen knife shot out from the bottom with a  _ shing _ . He kissed its handle and handed the switchblade-microphone to the stunned blonde woman. 

“His name is Michael. Mikey for short. Take care of him.”

“Didn't you try to stab me with that once?” Charles wondered aloud. The other world’s Barbara glared at Beetlejuice, who smiled sheepishly.

“Maaaybe, but I’ve come a long way since then! Honest.”

The blonde Barbara gave a few practice swings with the blade and beamed. 

“Thank you. I’ll return...Mikey to you in just the condition you lent him to me in.”

Beetlejuice shot finger guns at her and started to back away. The brunette Barbara marched up to him and grabbed him by the arm, stopping him in his tracks. 

“You’re going nowhere by yourself, especially not after what I just heard,” she snapped. Adam and the other Barbara shared a look. The demon shrugged.

“Fair enough. Tina’s office is this way, c’mon.”

The pair exited the break room and walked down one the seemingly endless hallways with purpose. Beetlejuice seemed to know where he was going, so Barbara followed him up to a door labeled ‘Director of Customs and Processing.’ The demon leaned closer to her to whisper conspiratorially in her ear.

“Tina’s only  _ acting _ director y’see, ‘cause her predecessor got eaten by a sandworm and it takes forever for anything to get done around here, but that didn’t stop her from moving in.”

“Just knock already and stop getting distracted, we’ve wasted enough time,” she replied impatiently. He rolled his eyes and rapped on the door three times. The door was cracked open by thin green fingers and once she saw who was on the other side, Miss Argentina opened it the rest of the way.

“Lawrence! You’re back already? And…who is this lady you brought?”

Beetlejuice opened his mouth to reply, but Barbara stepped in front of him.

“I am the Barbara Maitland from another universe, and I’m here to get my daughter back.”

“We need you to tell us where you found Bad Art!” he piped up, “So we can track the little fucker who took ‘em!”

The green-skinned woman shot him a look of mild worry and concern before stepping outside.

“Do you mean to tell me that we are dealing with  _ alternate universes _ ? And that the skinny little weirdo was you, from another world? And he—wait, what would he want both of them for?”

“We don’t have time for this!” Barbara reminded them. They both shared a glance and nodded.

“I don’t suppose you’ve brought more of them?” Tina inquired. The demon nodded swiftly. 

“They’re in the break room,” he added. The receptionist rolled her eyes.

“Alright, let's go.”

They walked back the way they had come to collect the others. Then it was back into the winding tunnels. After twists and turns, they emerged into the records storage room. Miss Argentina explained how someone had found the sculpture in here the day before. The room was in disarray, what with the shattered window on the far wall and a bloody paperweight on the floor. The demon ran up and sniffed the paperweight, then set it down on a desk.

“Scarecrow and Rat Bastard were definitely here. This thing reeks of him,” he said, turning to face the others, “Trail goes outside and down the tree, so this is the end of the line for you, Tina. Fare thee well.” 

“Good luck, Lawrence,” she replied solemnly, before turning around. The three ghosts and one living man wandered across the room. Beetlejuice transformed into a squirrel and leapt from the window, scampering down the tree and reappearing in humanoid shape on one of the lowermost branches. Adam and Barbara held hands and levitated down. The Barbara from this universe and Charles leaned out the window and looked worriedly at each other, having no idea how to get to the ground safely. 

“The last time I climbed a tree was when Lydia was twelve,” he confided, “She got stuck up one in Central Park. Emily ended up having to get both of us down.”

“I haven’t been a fan of heights since my death,” the ghostly woman responded, “Adam and I fell through the floorboards.” 

“Oh that’s—not good. Uh...I’ll go first.”

Charles slowly edged out the window, gripping the nearby branch with white knuckles. He began carefully climbing down. About halfway to the ground, his foot slipped on a branch and he almost fell out of the tree. As he made his way to the bottom even more carefully than before, a few flakes of dry bark floated gently down. Then it was Barbara’s turn. She very carefully avoided looking down as she shimmied down the dead tree. She was almost there when she grabbed onto the branch Charles had slipped on earlier. Beetlejuice’s keen, sharply pointed ears heard the rotten black branch crunch above her and shouted, “Babs!” as it snapped off and she dropped like a stone. She barely had time to scream before the demon coiled up and pounced forward, catching her out of the sky. She went silent as the wind was knocked out of her when he hit the ground, looking worriedly down at her pale face.

“Babs? You’re okay, you’re fine. You already died once, not like it’s gonna kill you again,” he said, attempting to lighten the mood. He leaned down, pressing their noses together. “Hey,” he purred. Barbara took a moment to recover from the shock and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Beej. Down. Now.”

“Right, sorry.”

He set her down and took a step back, turning to face the others mildly irritated faces.

“Now, where were we all? Oh, right.”

He tilted his head back and deeply sniffed the air, shutting his eyes as he did so. His eyes remained shut as he tilted his head back and forth. Charles opened his mouth to say something but Beetlejuice held up a hand and the other man’s mouth snapped shut. He finally opened his yellow eyes, pupils blown wide.

“Scarecrow’s trail stops cold here-” he pointed at a spot among the roots of the tree- “But it seems like our guy went that way.” He gestured out at the wide colorless expanse of similarly gnarled trees on a dark and dreary horizon. The dark-haired Barbara nodded, speaking up. 

“Now that we’re in a less confined environment than that office, I feel like it's an appropriate time to demonstrate that idea I had earlier. You might want to take a few steps back.”

She and Adam shared a glance. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and backed up a bit, motioning for everyone else to do the same. They did so, blinking in confusion. When he glanced back at Barbara, the hand Adam had ever-so-gently kissed was growing in size, the nails shaping into black claws. Her face lengthened into a snout lined with razor-sharp teeth and her dark brown hair grew until it covered her whole body like a pelt. She dropped forward onto all fours, her brown eyes still sparking with human intelligence as the rest of her was shaped into a 400 pound grizzly bear. 

“That felt needlessly drawn out, but nice work, especially if you’re as newly-dead as  _ my _ Babs,” Beetlejuice observed, reaching out to pet her. She shot him a look and he retracted the hand, putting it behind his back. He suddenly gasped, eyes lighting up.

“Wait, you’re—a  _ Bearbara _ !”

Adam stifled a chuckle as his wife rolled her eyes. She opened her muzzle to speak, her voice sounding a little strained and growly, as if struggling to come from such a foreign mouth.

**“Get on my back. I can run faster than you all can walk. We’ll be able to chase him down easier, even if he has a head start.”**

She knelt down on her forepaws and Adam climbed on, scratching her ears. The other Barbara got on after him, placing her hands on his shoulders, and Charles climbed on after her. 

“I’m tempted to make a barebacking joke, but this is hardly the time. Plus I don’t think a fourth person, namely me, will be able to fit and/or stay on. I’ll fly ahead, just follow me while I track him,” Beetlejuice mentioned.

“Fly?” Barbara questioned. The demon winked, spreading his arms wide in an upward sweeping gesture and leaped as he disappeared into a plume of green smoke. He blew the smoke away with a flap of his new wings as a white and black vulture, soaring upwards. He perched momentarily on a branch, saluted with a wing, and climbed higher into the sky, white feathers easily standing out against the black void of nothingness. 

**“Hold on tight,”** Barbara said, and that was the only warning before she took off in pursuit.

_ *** _

_ ??? _

_ *** _

“So...why are we making a circle out of salt again?” Bluejay asked. Scarecrow paused, box of table salt in hand.

“Because ghosts can’t cross lines of salt, duh. So if we get in the circle, we’ll be safe, and that rat-faced bastard can’t get to us. Be sure not to step on it or—there we go!”

She put her hands on her hips and stepped back to admire her handiwork: an unbroken ring of salt on the carpeted floor, big enough to comfortably fit two teenagers sitting down. She slipped her NPR tote bag over one shoulder and closed the box, putting it back inside. Bluejay sat down inside, resting her back against the wall. As the other girl joined her, her stomach growled and she hugged her chest. Scarecrow furrowed her brow thoughtfully and dug through the bag for a moment.

“I think it's still here…yeah!” 

She emerged from the bag with a Toblerone bar, breaking it in half and offering her one side.

“I knew I still had this! I’ll share it with you—unless you’re allergic to almonds or something, in which case-”

“Thanks,” Bluejay replied, cutting her off by taking the candy. They sat in silence for a short while as they ate. 

“How long do you think it’ll be before someone comes to save us?” Bluejay wondered. Scarecrow scoffed.

“Like hell I’m waiting around for someone to come  _ rescue _ me. I’m not Princess Peach. I wish that asshole hadn’t taken Bad Art, I could really use it right now. But we gotta work with what we have.”

“Bad Art?”

“Sculpture my stepmom made, attached to a pole. I impaled Beej on it and she didn’t want it back because there was demon blood all over it, so I whittled the end of the pole down to a point and I’ve used it to hit things ever since. My mom once told me that every great warrior needs a weapon with a name, like King Arthur and Excalibur. Bad Art the spear-ish object was mine.”

_ He really wasn’t kidding when he said she would stab without hesitation. _

“Well, you’re like, covered in safety pins, and I think you were a great warrior with them too,” Bluejay offered. Scarecrow pondered this.

“Maybe I could put them in between my fingers and  _ punch _ him, like baby Wolverine claws,” she wondered aloud. She shook her head, disregarding the idea. “That probably wouldn’t work, I don’t think ghosts feel much pain. I mean, I half scratched his eye out and he barely even flinched. Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but still.”

“I thought it was very brave,” Bluejay replied quietly. Scarecrow met her gaze and grinned.

“This whole thing has been a nightmare and a half, but I’m glad I got to meet you. Even if it was facilitated by getting kidnapped by a creepy-ass demon.”

Bluejay shivered at the mention of Betelguese, scooching closer to the other girl. Something occurred to her and she felt the need to correct it.

“He’s a ghost, actually, not a demon,” she clarified. Scarecrow’s eyes suddenly lit up.

“You don’t say?” she replied, leaning forward to dig through her tote bag again.

“What’re you doing?” the other girl questioned. Scarecrow looked up at her with a grin that outshone every slasher movie she’d ever seen, pulling a black camera bag out of the tote.

“I tried to take a picture of Adam and Barbara once with the flash turned way up, ‘cause it was dark. They sort of...like, flickered almost, and it really stunned them. I asked Beej about it, and he told me to look in the handbook, and the handbook mentioned that ghosts are very vulnerable to bright flashes of light—particularly  _ camera _ flashes. So that’s how we’re gonna beat him. Here’s the plan…”

_ *** _

_ End of Chapter 9 _

_ *** _


	10. Chapter 10

What the  _ fuck _ .

Betelgeuse had thought today was going well. He finally had what he needed to have free reign of the living world for good, plus a little somethin’ extra. But he was beginning to wonder if he’d bitten off more than he could chew with said extra. He’d realized she was certainly full of more fighting spirit than he anticipated, and the scratches around his eye told the tale. He pressed one cold hand against his eye socket and gazed up at the empty, starless sky. This universe’s Netherworld was different from his own—there had never been an ‘outside’ back at home. It was just the dimly lit, forever-shifting tunnels of the Office. But there didn't seem to be much of anything in this void anyway, stuck in permanent grayscale and lit only by thin glowing lines that spiraled up branches of trees and blades of grass. He couldn’t say he was a fan of the aesthetics; maybe it was about time he got out of here, once and for all. After all, there  _ was _ a point to his bringing the spare along—he needed a witness. The thought of finally escaping the Netherworld made him sit up straighter, and he rolled up one sleeve to glance at the silver Spacepiece that rested there among his many other mismatched watches. He’d set it to be able to not only send him to the next world over but also to a little pocket dimension of his own creation, instead of being able to jump across all three known worlds like most others of its kind. Gripping the dial, he turned it to the right and vanished from his spot on the forest floor.

_ *** _

_ ??? _

_ *** _

As he reappeared in the pocket dimension, he found himself facing an empty wall, one that might usually hold a door. Behind him, he heard a quiet frightened gasp and a loud shout of “Hey!”

He spun around to see the Lydia from his world, standing in a circle of what looked like salt with her back pressed up against the far wall. She had the strap of a camera around her neck and was holding it up and pointing it at him. Wait a moment—where’d the other one go?

“Say cheese,” the girl yelped with gritted teeth, before he was stunned in a bright blast of camera flash. The specter’s body flickered slightly as Scarecrow charged out from the clothing racks and smacked him upside the head with her tote bag. She grabbed his arm, twisting the dials of every watch she could find. Bluejay grabbed her double’s hand, not wanting to be left behind when she found the one that was magical. Betelguese came to and grimaced down at the girls just as Scarecrow grinned up at him, finding the Spacepiece and eclipsing all of them in a flash of light once more.

_ *** _

_ Musicalverse _

_ *** _

As they reemerged in the forest clearing, Scarecrow shoved Betelguese backwards, stepping protectively in front of her counterpart and putting herself between them. She glared up at the ghost, who spat out a croaky cackle that sounded like a hyena who’d smoked seven packs a day for the past forty years. 

“What do you think you’re doing, babes? Look around! You’re in the middle of nowhere with nobody but me.”

“Is that so?” a growly voice called out from above. Scarecrow’s eyes lit up and Betelguese barely had the chance to look towards the newcomer when he was tackled out of the sky by a black-and-white figure. The two tusselled in the grass as the girls retreated backwards. Just then, the rest of the group emerged into the clearing. Adam, Charles, and Barbara slid off the back of the bear-Barbara, who reared up on her hind legs and roared, charging into the fray. Adam pulled Bluejay into a hug, as did Charles and Barbara with their respective Lydia. The girl took Bad Art from her father’s grip and stared wondrously up at him. 

“Dad, you came?”

“Of course I did...but I’m going to have to go...pass out now,” he replied, pressing his back against a large rock and slowly sliding to the ground. Barbara caught the murderous gleam in Scarecrow’s eyes and shook her head, pulling the girl aside.

“They can handle that one from here, you’ve been through enough. We have to get everyone else who isn’t as much as a fighter as you where it’s safe.”

Meanwhile, the clearing was a blur of stripes, claws, and fire as two powerful spirits and a demon duked it out. Beetlejuice’s yellow eyes narrowed to catlike slits as he spat blood.

“So you’re the little bastard who I’ve been hearing so much about? I can’t see the resemblance.” 

Betelguese snapped his arm bones back into place, ignoring the bite mark on his shoulder. He wasn’t sure which of his two combatants had bitten him, they seemed to both have equally sharp teeth. 

“If you’re my double, why’re you helpin’ them?” the wraith wondered as he leapt to dodge the swipe of grizzly paws. He sent a jolt of lighting after her in return as Beetlejuice replied “Huh?”

“You’re supposed to be like  _ me _ and great minds think alike, aye? But you’re helping these losers get their pwecious wittle Wydia back!” He paused for a moment, tilting his head to the side to effortlessly dodge a gout of Beetlejuice’s fire. Betelgeuse looked back up at his counterpart and clicked his tongue.

“If this is about me taking  _ your _ world’s version of her, hey, maybe we can work something out, you have yours and I’ll have mine, alright?”

“You’re sick!” the demon spat. Betelgeuse chuckled.

“So they tell me, so they tell me,” he replied, “But who’re you to think of yourself as bein’ any better? After all, not that much changes from world to world. You always meet the same kind of person. And you and me are two sides of the same coin. Or wouldn't that be th-”

His thoughts were interrupted by having to dodge two slashes of black-tipped claws, one from the bear and the other from the demon whose less-than-human traits were starting to poke through in his seething red-haired rage.

“Stop flitting around and le **t me ** ** _hit you!”_ ** he roared, his voice booming and echoing. The specter chortled, unphased by his counterpart’s demonic temper tantrum. On the other side of the clearing, Scarecrow silently crept past Barbara and the other world’s Adam, who were keeping watch in case the battle took a turn for the worse. She slunk through the brush to the place that was being torn up by lightning, hellfire, and a bear (for some reason).

_ Don’t fail me now, Sandy. _

The girl whistled shrilly, and the answering dull roar was proof enough that the intended audience had heard her loud and clear. Everyone turned to look as she was lifted high above the forest astride Big Sandy the sandworm. Betelgeuse froze in terror for just a moment before attempting to dodge away from the source of his greatest fear. But that moment of hesitation was just enough for one of Beetlejuice’s fists to connect with his lower jaw, sending him flying. He slammed into a tree, crumpling into a pile and being knocked out cold. Lydia hopped off the sandworm, who was returned to her home planet through the portal she had emerged through, and she tackled her best friend in a hug. He stiffened slightly, but returned the hug nonetheless.

“Good work there, kid,” he laughed, giving her a playful punch to the shoulder. She grinned up at him as his hair faded back to green. He looked across the field where Bearbara’s fur was disappearing as she shrunk back to human size and shape, a bear no more. She ran to Adam and Bluejay’s sides as they began crossing the clearinging. 

“Beej, that guy had this silver watch thing he was using to jump around the worlds, we ought to take it from him so he can’t come back ever again,” Scarecrow suggested. The demon nodded emphatically and they hovered over the limp body of their foe as they searched among the mess of watches that lined his arms. She found the distinct and shiny watch and pulled it off the ghost’s arm, holding it up triumphantly.

“And to the victor, go the spoils! Lydia, two; stripy ghost man, zero.”

They high-fived and Beetlejuice snatched the watch, stuffing it into one pocket and being careful not to let it touch the watch on his other wrist. Barbara tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn around. She held out the switchblade-microphone, which he took and tucked inside of his jacket.

“I guess I didn't end up using it at all, but having it made me feel safer. So thank you. Lydia, your father has something he wants to say.” 

Charles had managed to pull himself together enough again to stand tall and stride across the empty grassy area to the small circle of all the people from his universe as the trio from the other universe reunited a few feet away. The tall man knelt so he would be at eye level with his daughter and cupped her face in his hands.

“Lydia Evelyn Deetz. Running off on your own was reckless, and dangerous and it almost got you killed or worse. But I’m too glad you’re okay to care.”

He pulled her into his arms in a tight hug, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. 

“Today I thought I might lose you. And when that thought occured to me, nothing was going to stop me from coming to find you until I had you back. Not even jumping across universes and dimensions.”

He looked up at Beetlejuice. “Ah, speaking of which, I’d like to go home soon.”

“I gotta hand over this dude first, which requires being in the other Netherworld. Mind if I drop y’all off in their version of your house for a little while while I take care of him? It won’t take long.”

Charles nodded, standing up and straightening himself out, and Beetlejuice waved the other trio over to where he was standing. 

“Think you can trust me now, Bearbara? Sure I haven’t got any ill intent?” he joked, “And before you ask, yes, Bearbara is your nickname from now till the end of time, and I will not be taking suggestions about it.” He paused for a moment, looking at the people around him and sighed. “I guess I better take you guys home and send him back to the Netherworld he belongs in, so you mind if these losers camp out in your place until I’m done with that?”

“We wouldn’t mind at all. And after all of that, I suppose you  _ can _ be trusted,” Barbara replied, sharing a loving glance with Adam and resting her hands on Bluejay’s shoulders. The demon nodded, snapping his fingers to summon chains that tied his counterpart’s unconscious form to the tree he lay under, just to be sure he didn't wake up and run off while they were gone.

“Hands in, everybody. Wouldn't want anyone to be left behind,” he said, holding his arm out. Everyone put their hands in and he twisted the watch’s dial, teleporting them away.

_ *** _

_ Movieverse _

_ *** _

The motley group appeared in the Deetz-Maitland living room, Beetlejuice swiftly vanishing from the circle of living and dead to collect his counterpart. Charles immediately sat down on the couch, his face fixed in a 5000-yard stare as he steadily breathed in and out in order to calm himself. Now that he knew his daughter was safe, all the adrenaline that had been keeping him going had drained away and he needed a minute. Scarecrow sat next to him and patted his shoulder gently. Adam pulled Bluejay close in a fierce hug and spun her around, ruffling her hair. Barbara looked at them fondly before clearing her throat to get their attention. 

“We’d better go show your parents that you’re alright—they’ve been worried sick.” 

Lydia paused, looking up at her with slight confusion as if she almost didn't believe her. Barbara took her hand and knocked on the Deetzes door, then opened it without waiting for a response. Charles was curled into a ball in the corner, and Delia was pacing back and forth across the room. They both froze when the door opened.

“Delia, Charles, we’re back!” Barbara announced triumphantly, stepping out of the way. Lydia peeked into the room as she stood behind the dark-haired woman. Their eyes alighted on the girl and Charles let out an anxious laugh of relief. He charged into the hall and swept her up into a hug. 

“Pumpkin! You’re safe! You’re okay!” he choked out. He petted her hair comfortingly, as if to reassure himself that she was real. Delia stared wondrously at the two, approaching them.

“Are you alright, Lydia? Did he hurt you?”

After managing to pry herself from her father’s iron grip, Lydia turned towards her stepmother and shook her head. 

“I’m fine, just shaken. Thanks to her.” She turned and pointed at her counterpoint, who waved. Her respective Charles and Barbara smiled awkwardly. “She kept me safe, and it was her plan that got us out of there. She even drew us a protective circle of salt in case her plan went wrong.” 

“Thank you, er—Other Lydia,” Charles said gratefully. 

“Call me Scarecrow, makes things easier,” replied Scarecrow, hunting through her tote bag with Bad Art lying at her feet. “Hey, can I have my camera back? You still have it around your neck.”

“Oh, sorry. It’s such a familiar weight, I forgot I was even wearing it,” Bluejay said, taking the camera strap off her neck and holding it carefully. She inspected it for a few seconds as Scarecrow ascended the stairs. 

“I think we both use the same model—makes sense, if we’re sort-of the same person,” she added, handing the camera to Scarecrow, who slipped it around her neck. 

“It was a gift from my mom,” she explained, “She got it when she was a kid and she gave it to me when I first started getting into photography.”

“Wait a minute, that model only came out last year, how on earth would your version of Emily have owned one as a child?” Charles piped up. Scarecrow’s face went blank, somehow perfectly expressing ‘oh shit’ without saying a word. 

“Riiight, we never told anyone about the time difference thing, did we?” she muttered. 

“Time difference?!” the adults shouted simultaneously. Bluejay flinched, nodding.

“Dad, Barbara, Step-Mom, Adam, as you all obviously know, in our world the current year is 1988. But…in her world, the year is 2019.”

While everyone else in the room was busy picking their jaws up off the floor, Scarecrow added “We were too busy trying to escape from being kidnapped at the time to really think about that sort of stuff, so we chalked it up to just another of the differences between dimensions. And really, this is by far not the strangest and most unusual thing any of you have learned today. On a completely unrelated note, can I get something to eat? I’ve had nothing but half a chocolate bar in the past two days.”

_ *** _

Beetlejuice slowly walked through the hallways of this unfamiliar Netherworld, dragging the unconscious and chained up form of his counterpart behind him by the collar of his shirt. He got several stares as he headed to Juno’s office, but one by one they turned back to their desks as he passed by. He walked up a short flight of stairs and knocked on the door three times, purely by force of habit. Juno cracked the door open irritatedly, her expression softening when she saw who was outside. She opened the door the rest of the way, glancing down at Betelgeuse as he was dragged inside. Beetlejuice followed her gaze and huffed.

“Uh...do you want me to set him down on a chair, or-”

She snapped her fingers and Betelgeuse vanished in a puff of smoke. Beetlejuice coughed and wrinkled his nose, his hair fading to greenish yellow as he frantically waved the smoke away. Juno shot him a confused look as he turned bashfully back towards her.

“Sorry—I’m sorry. I really don’t like the smell of cigarette smoke. Bad memories.” 

“Just take a seat. I’ll deal with him later. I trust you still have the Spacepiece I lent you?”

He nodded, taking it off his wrist and handing it over. He cleared his throat as he took the silver watch from his pocket and held it up.

“I also managed to snag his space travel thingamabob-which is silver for some reason-and-”

“Let me see that!”

The tiny old woman snatched it from his claws, looking it over.

“Odd. He’s jammed it.”

“Huh?”

“My former assistant has somehow managed to rig this thing so it’s blocked off access to one of the worlds in favor of transport in and out of a tiny little pocket dimension. If the settings were knocked off kilter at all, the little bubble he’d set up would collapse in on itself. Anything and anyone in the pocket world would be--erased! As if they never even existed at all!”

She fiddled with the dial and the symbols for a few moments and smacked it sharply against her desk. She then looked back at it, checking the dial just in case.

“That ought to set it back to normal. Yes--it’ll cycle to all three worlds now. Here, use it to go back from whence you came.”

The stunned demon blinked at her, ignoring the silver watch thrust back into his hands.

“Wh-there’s  _ three _ worlds?”

He was met with a look of mild irritation.

“What are you, deaf? Yes, now get out of here! I’ve got all this paperwork to do and I don’t see you helping me!”

“Right, sorry!”

He held his hands up appeasingly as he walked out the door, closing it behind him. She rolled her eyes and placed the box with the black and gold watch in her desk.

_ *** _

It had been a few hours, and the Deetz-Maitland house was quiet. Bluejay, Charles, Barbara, Delia, and Scarecrow were in the kitchen eating breakfast. Scarecrow’s father was having a stress-induced nap on the couch, and her world’s Barbara was in the attic with Adam, who was proudly showing off his model town. 

“So, you don’t have anything like this in your house?” he asked. Barbara shook her head.

“We never really stuck with any activity long enough to make a huge detailed craft like that. But Adam has been getting back into woodworking recently,” she replied, opening her mouth as if about to continue. Suddenly, she gasped, staring at the far wall. Adam looked up to see the Netherworld door’s outline glowing. It was kicked open by Beetlejuice, his eyes lighting up. 

“B-Town! Glasses!” he exclaimed. 

“You’re back!” Barbara replied, her face lighting up. She glanced at Adam, continuing, “I suppose that means we better get going. My Adam’s probably been worried sick.”

“How’d it go with J-” Adam began. Beetlejuice quickly interrupted him with, “Fine! Just…weird. Where’s Scarecrow? She and her abductee buddy hanging out? There’s nothing quite like shared trauma when it comes to making friends.” He mimed wiping a tear from his eye. Barbara rolled her eyes good-naturedly and took his hand, leading him downstairs. 

“Everyone, Beej is back!” she announced at the top of the stairs. There was a whoop from Scarecrow, and Bluejay waved shyly. Beetlejuice took a bow, hopped on the railing, and slid the rest of the way down. 

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand, gang,” he said. Scarecrow took a final bite of toast, gave Bluejay a fierce hug, waved goodbye to her counterpart’s family, and wandered up to the demon, taking his hand and placing her other hand on her father’s sleeping head. Barbara linked arms with him, quickly shouting “It was lovely to meet you all!” as he activated the device.

“This was certainly a unique day,” Delia said to no one in particular.

_ *** _ _   
_ _ Musicalverse _

_ *** _

There was a thud and a soft “Oof,” as Charles fell out of the air and hit the carpet, the couch where he has been laying not being present in his home universe. Lydia stifled a chuckle as he looked around blearily.

“Sorry dad, didn't mean to wake you.”

Barbara sprinted to the attic door, opening it and looking around.

“Adam? Adam, we’re back!”

The sound of rapid footsteps sprinted up the stairs and Barbara was practically tackled in a hug as Adam wrapped his arms around her. 

“You are! You’re back!” He looked around the room, spotting Lydia. “All of you!”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Beetlejuice complained. 

“Not to me, you aren’t. You swooped in just in the nick of time!” Lydia countered, giving him a playful punch to the arm. Barbara ignored them, continuing, “Has Delia gotten back from the vet yet?”

“As a matter of fact, she has!” Delia announced, striding through the door with her cat Amethyst at her heels. “Goodness, I can’t leave for a day without everything falling apart around here, can I? Adam explained everything he knew as soon as I got back.”

“Ngh,” Charles grunted from his place on the ground. Amethyst, the tiny calico cat, ran up and batted at Charles, who lay unmoving on where he’d fallen. Lydia giggled and Delia smiled fondly at him.

“Today’s been a lot for you two, huh? Come on, dear, I think you need to lie down someplace where you won’t get stepped on.”

She helped the exhausted man up and half-dragged him out of the attic. Lydia scooped up the tiny cat and buried her face in its fluff.

“Beej, ghost parents, you guys had better tell me your side of the story, because while what happened to me was  _ craaazy _ , I bet you have got an equally awesome tale to tell. And no ‘exaggerations’ either, dude, I want to know what  _ actually _ happened to you,” she said, voice slightly muffled by kitten fur,

“Only if you tell me yours, kiddo,” the demon replied with a grin. “Aight, here goes nothing. So there I was…”

_ *** _

_ Toonverse _

_ *** _

Lydia was sitting on her bed drawing when she heard a familiar tapping coming from the inside of her bedroom mirror. She looked up to see the snaggletoothed visage of her best friend.

“Beetlejuice, get out of my mirror,” she laughed. The ghost poked his head through the glass and crawled out, perching inelegantly on the desk.

“Lyds, I just had the  _ craziest _ idea. I gotta tell you about it!”

“In a minute, I’m almost done.”

She continued drawing for a while, the bored ghost sitting quietly on the dresser. She finally set the pencil down and put the sketchbook aside, looking up.

“So?”

“Wouldn’t it be weird if there was this whole other world with people that are exactly the same as us only different? And one of the other me’s was evil, like Bully the Crud, and we had to team up with the other you’s family and fight him?” 

He looked at her expectantly, but what reaction he was hoping for she’d never guess. The little girl wrinkled her nose.

“Yeah, that would be weird. Where do you come up with this stuff?”

“Haha, yeah. I dunno, really, it just comes to me,” he replied, glancing down at the new copper-plated watch on his wrist. The funny-looking symbols on the dial winked with strange light before going dim.

_ *** _

_ The End _

_ *** _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for supporting my writing. All the nice comments-and I do read them, every single one-make my day every time I get a notification. I hope you follow my work in the future (i've been cooking up a few new ideas) and i hope you've enjoyed this wild ride.


End file.
